A Rivetting flight

Well I had a very "rivetting" flight from Phoenix to Chicago. When I booked this flight I got the last seat on the flight 16E which of course in the middle seat. I hate the middle seat. When I checked in however there was a window seat available. My luck has turned I thought. Seat 30F a window was mine. As I waited in line to board there were 2 screaming infants that were already a nightmare. I thought who ever is near them is going to have 3 hours of fun. I finally had to leave Da Coach and then pass him as he sat in first class to my seat 30F which was the second to the last row of the plane. I settled in to my window seat to discover that my window seat had a great view of the engine. I don't mean I could see the engine and some of the outside of the plane, no my window view was only the engine just inches away from my face. Then things improved. Both of the screaming infants were in front of me and the other just behind me. I was a screaming infant sandwich and they were louder than the engine inches from my ear.

I put my noise reducing earphones on thinking this would offer some relief, but the batteries were dead. Then if it could not get any worse a couple approx 60 years old sat next to me. The man looked like he worked at Best Buy in the Geek Squad and the woman was of....."size" Of course she sat next to me and her "size"oozed over and under the armrest we shared. In other words her butt lapped over into my space up against my thigh. After the plane took off she bent over and got a picnic basket filled with food. She then grazed for over 3 hours and ate bannanas, crackers, sandwiches, and cheese that smelled like goat butt. I thought I was sitting next to Yogi Bear and his picnic basket. Boo Boo her husband was silent during the feeding frenzy. Yogi when she was not eating thought it was a great idea to play peek a boo with the screaming infant behind us. Everytime she turned around her "size" scraped up against my left thigh like butt sharpnel. My left thigh is now chapped and I might seek medical attention.

Finally we landed at Ohare and then parked on the tarmac for 30 minutes because they had no gate for us. This gave Yogi time to now turn completly around and talk with the mother of the screaming infant. She told everyone that she was a grandmother of 3 and when she had her 3 children she nursed them all and after she was done nursing them she ovulated right away and got pregnant again. Wow how touching. Breast feeding and ovulating right there in row 30.

As we sat there just feet from my final destinantion for today, the flight attendant ran down the endless connecting flight gates. It went on for ever! Is really anyone going to Toledo? NO SO WHO CARES WHAT GATE THAT FLIGHT IS AT.

Oh well. I'm in Chicago for 12 hours and then off for the marathon 4 flights to Africa. I can only hope that I sit next to some other cartoon character to Brussels.

Oh by the way I looked out my window and had 3 hours to count the rivetts on the engine next to me. There were 88.